Gender Inequality and Pants at Church

My sister Taylor brought up a fascinating discussion that I'd like to weigh in on. If you'd like to read her opinions and the articles that were the catalyst please read her blog. The discussion about gender inequality in our Church as well as the often contentious discussion of pants vs skirts is certainly compelling. I want to preface my opinions on this matter as first and foremost my opinions. I would assume that if you're reading my blog you're interested in my opinions on things so please remember that opinions are like mouths everyone has one. Second and equally important I was not raised in the Church therefore my opinions come from completely different life experiences.

I want to start with the idea of gender inequality in the Church. I have to say that while one Mormon feminist made several compelling points about why she feels there is serious gender inequality in the Church I couldn't disagree with her more. First the men in our Church treat women with such respect and caring it's amazing. Second I'm married to a Mormon and he treats me better than any other man has in my life. Part of why he does this is because of how he was raised. He has the great example of his Dad and how he treats Mom. He also has five amazing women who have made sure he knows how to treat a woman.

While perhaps there is some gender inequality somewhere in the Church I can't say that I've ever felt it from any of the brethren in the Church. If I've ever felt judged or placed on unequal footing it was from the sisters in the Church. This actually leads me to the second discussion point the topic of pants at Church. Many Mormons that I've met have pretty strong opinions on the topic. I know that many women in our Church feel that wearing dress pants to Church is disrespectful or less reverent than wearing a skirt.

I have to disagree on that point. Since I was old enough to decide if I was going to Church I've had a single condition: I can wear pants. While I respect that many women were raised to wear a skirt or dress on Sunday just because I wasn't is not a critique on my reverence or commitment to the Gospel. I genuinely feel that when we as women accept our differences and embrace the individual adaption portion of the Gospel we'll find that we feel so much more free. How can we be focused on helping others and coming closer to God if we're more concerned that the women two rows over is wearing a pants suit instead of a skirt? If we want to address gender inequality and other problems we encounter we have to be willing to look at our own behavior first. I can't pull a splinter out of your eye if there's still a log in mine.

Well that's my opinion and I'd love to hear other's opinions. I think this is an interesting and important discussion to have.

Life's Detours

Part of having seizures is that I tend to sleep and be awake at odd hours. This habit of being awake at strange hours has lead to me reflecting on my life. I think that everyone has an idea or image in their mind of how they expected life to unfold. If you had asked me five years ago my vision of life would be nothing like the one I'm living.

I think one of the hardest things in life is letting go what you think life should be like. Embracing the fact that your life has taken a turn you didn't see coming can be quite the challenge. Since I'm currently facing that challenge I want to share some things I'm learning as I go. These are all things I'm trying to do in my own life with varying amounts of success but the important thing is that I'm trying.

1. My mountain is your mole hill but that's ok because my mole hill is your mountain.
   Never underestimate another person's trials because often what seems easy to you can be an incredible challenge for another person.

2. Variety is the spice of life, learn to love it.
   Life doesn't go according to anyone's plans and sometimes that's the best part. If my life had gone according to my plan a few years ago I wouldn't be a Mormon, married, or the person I am today.

3. Being sick stinks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
  This is by far the hardest one for me personally. Having seizures stinks but life has to move on. Despite having seizures there is so much more to life than that.

4. Life moves on so move with it.
  Often we get stuck in the problems in our life so much that we completely miss the great things about life. We see the tiny flaw in the painting and so completely miss the masterpiece in front of our eyes!

5. You are who you are, learn to love you for you.
  I am me and that's all I can be. There are things about me I couldn't change if I wanted to so while it's a challenge I have to learn to love me as I am. 

So those are my reflections on life's detours, I'm sure the list will continue to expand. My parting thought would be : that no matter where in life you find yourself enjoy the moment because it won't come again.