Like many of the best things in my life this was inspired by my sisters. My incredible sister Taylor wrote a very interesting blog about body image. If you're reading my blog, please read hers too! Here's is much better than mine. Here's the link for hers :http://bythevoiceofthispeople.blogspot.com/2013/04/but-but-i-think-i-think-im-beautiful.html. Ok shameless plugging aside, she got me thinking with her blog.
Body image is such a complicated topic but here's my two cents about it. I'm going to be brutally honest in this blog so be prepared. While my sister confessed that she's quite happy with how she looks my confession looks a little different.
Confession: I actually don't like how I look.
I'm short which I hate (seriously even Faith is taller than me!), I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds and inches, and I'm really just not a fan of me. I can list more things I don't like but I'll save us both the time. I've never really liked how I look. That's probably why I married Alex who is my biggest cheerleader. I don't have to like how I look because he does! I never spend more than five or ten minutes on my appearance. There's a great reason for that. Most people are way more distracted by the dog or by my moving hands or the giant hearing aids in my ears or how I sound funny when I talk sometimes. If you don't believe me here's a great story that proves my point.
One day at Disney I was off work and had taken some time with my looks. I thought I looked great. I went out shopping at D23. The woman behind the counter couldn't figure out how my hearing aid charms were connected to me. She thought I had pierced the inside of my ear and couldn't get over how painful she thought that would be. So she asked me why I had pierced my ear like that. Much to her embarrassment I pulled my hearing aid from behind my ear. I've never seen anyone blush that red. She completely missed me because she only saw my aids.
Add the dog in and well you can guess how it goes. I've found it's very hard to find motivation to be enthusiastic about an appearance that most people never notice. I don't think I'm alone in it. Think about it. We spend so much time on the unimportant distractions about a person that we often completely miss them.
So my question to you is how do we change that?
You can't change what OTHER people notice... but you can decide not to let it bother or change you. Like most things in life, doing things to impress people or make them notice almost always leaves you disappointed. Whether it's taking some time just for you or just for Alex, at least those are people you care about and that matter to you. And for those of us who care about you, we do notice when you change things about your appearance. But since those things aren't what we love you for, they aren't what we concentrate on. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI agree with both the previous comment and sadly your observations. This is what I've learned and am still learning though, nobody who knows you see the flaws that you see. They might acknowledge you are right, in my case that I'm the size of a small elephant (though nobody really puts it that way), but they don't see it as a flaw or something that defines you. They simply say this is the awesome I see in you. I've also learned that it is super easy to come up with a list of what not to like about yourself, especially with the media plugging super skinny tall flawless as the "norm," but it is better for your own sanity and outlook on life and how you see others if you start making a list of things you like about yourself. Start small if you need to, I started with my eyes, and just add something to the list every couple of days. Write it down and put it by the mirror if you have to for help. Like with all things, you can't change others, you just can change how you act in the situation. It isn't easy and it doesn't fix "stereotyping" in the world but it actually makes you notice it less. That's my two cents anyway.
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