I've been asked a lot lately what it feels like to have a seizure and I thought it was a question worth answering. This isn't intended to scare everyone in my life. Writing about things like this helps me get it out. I've also found it helps the people around me to better understand how to help me. This is how it feels for me, every seizure is different for the people that experience them. With that said here's the answer to the question.
I never remember the last few minutes leading up to a seizure. I've been told I tend to be confused and sometimes confrontational. I stare blankly and blink a lot as well. If it's a seizure that occurs with warning signs it follows a certain pattern. I always have a severe pain in the back of my head, I feel incredibly dizzy, and my vision begins to blur. Then the last sensation before a seizure is feeling like I'm falling. If you've ever seen October baby the main character has a seizure in the first few minutes of the movie. That's really how it feels for me too. The sensation of falling is almost always the last thing I remember.
What happens during a seizure is something I can only explain from someone else's point of view. I'm not conscious during my seizures. I also never remember them afterwards. I wake up confused and exhausted. I'm told that my face seizes and my upper body convulses. If I'm standing I fall. If I'm sitting I collapse into things. For example I face planted into my in law's kitchen table while rolling tokens, got a goofy looking red line on my forehead from it. Also according to my husband I struggle to breathe and frequently he has to force my mouth open to be completely sure I continue breathing. After 30 seconds to a full minute I stop convulsing. Often enough I wake up on my own but sometimes it takes someone else waking me up. The minutes after a seizure I'm awake but no one is home as it were. I usually fall asleep from exhaustion after a seizure.
I'm undergoing testing right now to determine the cause of the seizures and how best to treat them. Hopefully this post helps everyone to better understand a very important part of my life.
How scary, frustrating, exhausting, and terrifying for you and for those around you as well. I've had friends with seizures before and I know the scariest part is wanting to help but knowing that there really isn't anything I can do but move objects so you don't get hurt. I send you lots of hugs and I hope the doctors figure out the best treatment quickly. Love ya.
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