I don't bite and he's not blind.

So there are two questions that I get at a pretty much nonstop rate.
1. Are you blind?
2. Will he bite me? (Meaning Riddick while he's working.)

If either question sounds ridiculous to you then you're not alone. I tend to agree. In all fairness, seeing eye dogs are what people automatically picture when they think of a service dog. The funny thing about that is that hearing dogs outnumber guide dogs by as much as 3 to 1. Most people see a service dog and assume oh that person is blind. It's only worse when I wear sunglasses. I also find that people assume I'm blind when I don't notice or respond to their speaking to me. I guess they think I'm not responding because I can't see them not because I didn't hear them. Even if it is somewhat understandable it's still really annoying. It's especially annoying when someone asks me this after looking me in the eyes and I look back. I've decided to design a t-shirt that says: If you can read this you're as blind as I am. It's the best way I can think of to deal with this question.

The second question is the infinitely more obnoxious one. It drives me crazy to have people ask if Riddick is going to bite them. If he were doing something threatening I could maybe understand the question. However this question is almost always posed to me when he is just lying on the floor. More often that not people ask me that when he is taking a nap and drooling. I look at my not even remotely scary dog and then back at the person. I just want to say, "Seriously?  He's taking a nap with his stuffed hedgehog, and you think he's going to bite you?  What lead you to that bright conclusion?  His drooling?"  Thankfully, I don't typically smart off to people. Normally I politely say, "No, he's a trained service animal.  They don't bite."  Occasionally I sign something that may or may not be particularly polite.

So please, if you're out and about, don't ask those two questions when you see a person with their service dog. If nothing else do it as a favor to me! I promise you'll be doing that pair a favor by skipping the obnoxious questions.

Lucky Number 7

So as you probably know we've had an exciting few days in the Bambas clan. I think we're all firm believers that excitement is overrated at this point. To give you a quick recap in case you missed it: thursday I had a bad reaction in the car but avoided an epi-pen. Friday night I had a terrible reaction and had to be transported to the ER via ambulance. Saturday I had a bad reaction and needed an epi-pen but avoided the ER. Sunday was all Alex. He was bitten by a dog and had to get 13 stitches in his chin. They were mostly just below his lip inside and out. Before anyone freaks out it WASN'T riddick who did the biting. Add in an almost car accident with Karen on Friday and one with Alex on Monday. Also our car battery died and had to be replaced last week. When it rains it really, really pours around here.

All of that excitement aside I wanted to take note of something. Friday night was the 7th time since April that I've gone into full blown anaphylactic shock. This was the 7th time that I ended up in the ER or admitted to the hospital for a severe allergic reaction. I personally think there's something pretty remarkable about my lucky number 7, I'm still kicking. While it's been a trying time there have been numerous silver linings in the clouds. Here are five of my silver linings that make getting through the rough patches possible. If you're struggling through your own rough patch hopefully these will bring a smile to your day!

Silver Linings
1. I haven't died!



   

2. I have an amazing family.


3. I have some incredible friends. Tay-Tay, Mady, Krystal, Cammie and many others who are just awesome.




4. I have a wonderful husband!

5. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Close Calls

I had a blog post almost completely written and ready to be posted. The topic was whether or not to epi-pen. In it I freely admitted that I'm not an epi-pen first ask questions at the ER later kind of person. I also freely admitted that I try everything in my bag of tricks before I concede to use an epi-pen. Tonight I got a  reality check about the dangers of that mindset. I had just finished eating dinner with my parents when the reaction started. Out of nowhere I suddenly felt itchy, flushed, and my throat felt like it was constricting. I tried everything in my bag of tricks when I probably should have just used the epi-pen. By the time I used my epi-pen the reaction was very far gone.

If you know me well you know that I've had a number of close calls over the years. I'm more familiar with hospitals and ERs than I'd care to be. Tonight was one of the closest calls I've ever had. I had to have a second epi-pen, a shot of benadryl and a shot of valium just in the ambulance. Inside the ambulance my condition went from bad to worse and it was an intense ride to the hospital. There was apparently a period of time that the EMTs were unable to get a blood pressure on me. I also went into such severe respiratory distress that they used a stethoscope to make sure I was still breathing. We reached the point where they were considering intubation. Thankfully I stabilized! I would be lying if I said I wasn't shaken by the whole thing. It was a stark reminder that the space between when a reaction starts and help arrives is longer than you think. While the space between a reaction starting and things getting out of control is much smaller than you think.

The whole thing was also a reminder of something else. I don't often talk about it but I have a very real fear of dying. I have an honest fear of dying from something like what happened tonight. More often than not I'm able to keep that fear in check with a healthy dose of perspective. The chances of me dying from anaphylaxis are actually pretty low. The fact that trained EMTs were there to make sure I made it through the ordeal also brings more of that perspective I often need to the party. I have to say though that no amount of perspective completely erases the fear from your mind. It does make me think long and hard sometimes. It strengthens my resolve to live my life so that there aren't any regrets on the table. It also reminds me to be grateful that God must think I've got more to do! Hopefully I can go a little longer without a close call from this point on.

Gratitude List

I've found that when I'm having a particularly bad day making a gratitude list tends to help. Since today has been rather frustrating I'm taking the time to change my annoyance to gratitude. Here's my list:

1. I have NOT needed my epi-pen today!
2. I haven't needed ANY benadryl today! (Wooohooo!)
3. Alex has a steady job!
4. I haven't had any seizures today!
5. I have a wonderful and crazy family.
6. I have a dog that loves me.
7. I did the dishes and folded laundry today.
8. I've kept up with ALL of my medication today. (Courtesy of the 'calender' on the counter.)
9. I haven't needed my inhaler today.
10. I have an amazing family of friends.
11. I can still sorta hear very very loud music.
12. Hulu has captions.
13. I can watch the Book of Mormon in ASL.
14. I can watch talks and other gospel related stuff in ASL.
15. I have a wonderful husband.
16. I have a best friend who has seen me through almost a decade of ups and downs (Tay-tay that means you).
17. I have a wonderful Grandpa who always believes in me and makes me smile!
18. I have a wonderful extended family.
19. I can't hear but I can still see!
20. I can still laugh.

Massive Update Part 1

So one of my amazing friends pointed out to me that she really didn't know what was going on in my life when we talked the other day. So in response I give you the Massive Update Part 1. There has been enough going on lately I think it'll be at least a 2 part update. So first things first I am in fact alive! I find this to be a very encouraging thing. Here's a quick bullet point update of some things going on in my life. I promise more details on the list at a later date:

1. New medicine! Yay! Well maybe, I think, yay.
2. New doctor, I found an allergist.
3. Another full blown "mild anaphylactic shock" (that's my sixth since April)
4. I had to use my epipen while shopping. (Definite booo.)
5. We went to Florida for the coolest family reunion ever.
6. I got a courageous award for doing 70% of the modified fun run walk portion before collapsing with a seizure.
7. Spent 20 hours in a car with my spouse and dog over 4 days.
8. Spent an afternoon at the beach with the whole family!!
9. I see my wonderful amazing niece on Tuesdays. ( Best day of the week in my opinion)
10. Alex has a good job finally!!!!
11. Alex is now working 60+ hours a week, every week.
12. Sadly we were released from teaching Primary.
13. I'm starting independent study classes this month!
14. My new doctor might have an answer to the big question: what the heck is wrong with me!!!!!!!!!

More to come in my next update! Love you all.