6 Things I Wish Hospitals Knew: from a Patient

I recently read a hospital's article about the 6 things they wished patients knew. So here's my take on the 6 things I wish hospitals knew.

1. Don't change my medication without telling me: This is non-negotiable. You should never swap a patient's regular medication for anything else without talking to the patient. I'm sorry some professor in college told you all medication is the same if the active ingredient is the same. They LIED. It's not the same by a long shot. You could easily be exposing them to an allergen or interaction. You're not a pharmacist so don't try to be. I'm on my medications for a reason. If you don't dispense a particular medicine tell me and I will have my husband bring it. I've had plenty of meltdowns because of this very situation. Imagine someone forces you to take an hour long detour each day. You'd have a meltdown or two right? Well swapping my medications without talking to me is no different.

2. Allergy contamination and safety should be a top priority: I've been given food I'm allergic to so many times in hospitals I've given up complaining about it. It's such a standard procedure my family brings me food rather than have me eat the hospital food. I've even been given a fruit cocktail cup in apple juice after being admitted for a reaction to apples. The nurses even knew it had apple in it! Yet no one takes responsibility for these mistakes. Step up and make your food safe. Allergy safety is as vital as sanitation. Anaphylaxis can kill.

3. No means no: I'm not sure what's unclear about this however I inevitably end up having to say no to some nurse or doctor. I am NOT a guinea pig or dartboard. I shouldn't be treated like one. You are there to give me the facts and let me decide. Not to try and pressure me into tests or treatments I'm uncomfortable with or think aren't necessary.

4. Don't harass my service animal : Again this should be common sense but it's not. Please ask before petting or engaging the dog. You're distracting my dog while he's trying to work. No you can't arbitrarily kick my service dog out of the exam room. No you can't kick him out for barking to inform me of a noise since that's his training. If you don't like it well too bad. Deal with  it. My service dog and I have rights. Respect them.

5. Understand what leaving AMA really means : I finally left AMA not that long ago. I was warned my insurance wouldn't cover the visit to the hospital and so forth. The doctor did her best to blackmail me to stay. It's a common tactic among doctors and even some nurses. There's just one hitch, it's bull. Almost all insurances say that if the treatment given was medically necessary it's covered. It has nothing to do with whether or not you decide to go AMA  or not, the treatment can still be covered. Using scare tactics like this are what make hospitals the bad guys especially doctors. Respect and understand my rights as a patient to leave AMA if I think it's the right move for me medically.

6. Interpreters are NOT optional : In this day and age of technology there is no reason a hospital shouldn't have some form of access to ASL interpretation. Court cases have been waged over this very issue. Guess what hospitals? You are required to provide understandable communication. Several court cases have ruled writing notes, lip reading, and uncertified interpretation are illegal. Yes it's illegal to ask my spouse to interpret end of story. Yes it's illegal to ask me to write back and forth or to read your lips. Yes it's very, very illegal to have one of your doctors try to interpret if they're not certified. I have the right to access to communication so provide it. End of story.

So those are the 6 things I'd like hospitals to know from a patient.

News that bothers me

I often see news that bothers me. Its like a prickle in my side that just keeps poking at me. Most often its when someone misrepresents my faith or the faith of a friend. Today I saw an article about a Muslim woman who was denied a full unopened can of soda because it could be used as a weapon.

First I think we should have a clear idea of what constitutes a weapon. The rifle my husband trains with in the Army now that's a weapon. A soda can or a nerf dart are not  weapons. Maybe if someone was trying to club someone with the soda can it could be considered a weapon until then let's apply some common sense. I could do far more damage swinging my medicine bag at you than a soda can but my bag isn't a weapon. It's a bag and for heaven's sake it's a soda can.

Second the airline hid behind the well touted line of its policy. I'm calling bull on that one. I'm not even a frequent flyer any more and I've had plenty of full unopened soda cans on a flight. So that leads me to the real question: why this woman? The answer is a sad one. The answer is that she didn't get the soda can because she's Muslim and looks it by all accounts. The flight attendant engaged in racial profiling with a policy that lets her get away with it and that is just wrong.

If we hate or discriminate against every Muslim then we become the very extremists our military has to fight. We have to reach out with love and find common ground. I have good friends who are Muslim. Maybe we don't agree on everything but we can always find the common ground that links us. I don't want to see us using racial profiling or profiling in the airports in general.

I confess I used to think profiling was a great idea. Then it happened to me. I got pulled aside for an additional screening. You want to know why? I have a service dog. No one else was pulled out of line so it certainly wasn't at random. The airport individual even went so far as to give my dog a pat down. Seriously they went through his backpack and jammed his ribs to search him. It was humiliating to be singled out. No one should have to be humiliated like that for any reason. Not to mention there's an abundance of evidence that the current TSA screening processes don't even work well.

So I understand how this woman felt when she was singled out over something silly. My point is that what the flight attendant was wrong and it just bothers me. We have to reach out and teach people or we risk becoming the very people we're fighting. We have to use common sense. Without these things we're lost.

Memorial Day from a Military Wife

I am not a soldier but I belong to a special group of women who are military wives. We are a group with a high entrance price, it's our spouse. We give them up for trainings, deployments, and even in the ultimate moment of sacrifice.  We are the group who hold down the home front while they're away. We are the group that makes their careers in the military possible. We are their better halves. We are their reason to make it home safe. It's an exclusive group that I've only begun to pay my dues for.

As a civilian Memorial Day never meant a great deal to me. I confess I often go it mixed up with other spring dates. It wasn't anything special until my husband joined the Army. Then the day became something special, something different to me. It became more than a nice spring day to grill out on or a long weekend to relax with. It's different because one day it could be my husband who is being honored on this day. Whether it's in a year or twenty it could be him one day. One day it could be his service that we honor. He could be among the fallen, I hope he never has to make that ultimate sacrifice but I firmly believe he would if it came down to it.

I've been blessed to not go through a deployment yet. However I've faced the separation that accompanies training where the Army took my husband and made him a soldier. Memorial Day makes me grateful for every moment with him that I get to spend. I take every minute I can and greedily hoard them because I know the days are coming where I won't wake up to him beside me. He will be a half a world away fighting to keep our country safe. Memorial Day reminds me that in a moment this life with him could be gone.

Memorial Day to me is something truly special now because when I think of it I think of the families left behind. I think of the wives in this club who have lost their spouses, children  or other family members. I think of the empty seat at so many tables. It is in that moment that I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ which assures me that I will see my loved ones again. It helps me to be a soldier's wife because I know no matter what happens I will see my husband again. We might struggle through a long distance relationship but he will always be my husband.

I will be forever grateful for the sacrifice of the men and women who have come before my husband. I also will be forever grateful for the wives and husbands who have supported their spouses through this life. I'm grateful to the families who this weekend will have an empty seat. I also want them to know that one day that seat will be filled again. It's the most important message of this weekend of honoring the fallen and those who have paid the ultimate price.

Standing United in Faith

I strongly believe in the free expression of religious belief. I'm not offended by the hijab any more than by the cross. I strongly believe that now is the time to stand up for more than just our own beliefs. There's a famous poem that rings true to me:

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out– because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out– because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out– because I was not a trade unionist; Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out– because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me– and there was no one left to speak out for me.”  (Wikipedia:  “… one of many variations of a poem attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller (1892–1984) about inactivity of German intellectuals following the Nazi rise to power” . )

I believe this is happening even now. I read a disturbing news story from Canada today. A women went into court wearing her hijab. The judge not only gave her an earful about wearing it in the courtroom she also demanded the women remove it. When the women refused the judge refused to hear her case until she would remove her hijab. Many christians I know think this is a wonderful story and that disturbs me more. This is no different than a judge demanding someone remove the cross on their necklace, a mormon remove their temple garments or a jewish man remove his yarmulke. This woman has a fundamental right to the articles of her faith.

We have to be willing to defend even those we disagree with. We have to be willing to defend all people of faith not just those of our own faith. There is so much that we agree on and believe in. Together we can be a united force for good in the world.  Separated we become like the poem. We are picked off one by one until there are no more voices for religious freedom. I challenge all those who read this to be those voices for religious freedom for all.