While my thoughts and prayers go out to those suffering in Boston I want to discuss another topic today. I want to talk about discrimination a little. While reading news articles I ran across a story I want to try and summarize it for you. Essentially a lesbian couple wanted to stay at a bed and breakfast but the owner said no because of her religious beliefs. The two women decided to sue and they won because of Hawaii's very broad discrimination laws.
It's an interesting case to me for a variety of reasons. One is that I can understand the reluctance of the owner of the bed and breakfast. I can understand how her religious views could influence her business decisions. I also can understand to a degree how the lesbian couple felt. I've been refused service because of my service animal. I've been refused a hotel room actually. I've been told to leave stores or harassed by store managers until I did leave.
The catch is though that the couple in question is making a choice. I didn't choose to loose my hearing. I did choose to get a service animal to help deal with it. However engaging in a lifestyle like homosexuality is a definitive choice. Oddly enough you would think I would agree with the lesbian couple but I don't. I agree with the business owner. I think the best way to solve problems of discrimination isn't always through the legal system. I don't think it's right to trample someone else's rights just to have my own recognized.
Don't misunderstand me, I don't like discrimination and I don't think it's right. However I don't think the government should come in and tell businesses what to do like this. The best way to fix situations like this are to vote with your wallet. If you want a case where it works I have a long list. A great example is Netflix who refused to provide captioning for their online content. They went to court and they won but their refusal cost them a great deal. Netflix has lost huge contracts and countless numbers of subscribers in part because of their decision. It wasn't the courts that changed things it was people voting with their wallets.
If someone tells me that I can't stay in their hotel because of my service animal or that I shouldn't apply for a job because I'm Deaf it's on them. It's their problem of being bigoted idiots. However much I might despise their bigotry they've still got a right to it. Laws and courts won't change discrimination in our country, we will. We will change it when we vote with our wallets and decide for ourselves how we want to deal with it. When we decide how we want to treat other people. Well that's my two cents about it anyway.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I think I like how I look..well maybe..sorta.. kinda... like how I look
Like many of the best things in my life this was inspired by my sisters. My incredible sister Taylor wrote a very interesting blog about body image. If you're reading my blog, please read hers too! Here's is much better than mine. Here's the link for hers :http://bythevoiceofthispeople.blogspot.com/2013/04/but-but-i-think-i-think-im-beautiful.html. Ok shameless plugging aside, she got me thinking with her blog.
Body image is such a complicated topic but here's my two cents about it. I'm going to be brutally honest in this blog so be prepared. While my sister confessed that she's quite happy with how she looks my confession looks a little different.
Confession: I actually don't like how I look.
I'm short which I hate (seriously even Faith is taller than me!), I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds and inches, and I'm really just not a fan of me. I can list more things I don't like but I'll save us both the time. I've never really liked how I look. That's probably why I married Alex who is my biggest cheerleader. I don't have to like how I look because he does! I never spend more than five or ten minutes on my appearance. There's a great reason for that. Most people are way more distracted by the dog or by my moving hands or the giant hearing aids in my ears or how I sound funny when I talk sometimes. If you don't believe me here's a great story that proves my point.
One day at Disney I was off work and had taken some time with my looks. I thought I looked great. I went out shopping at D23. The woman behind the counter couldn't figure out how my hearing aid charms were connected to me. She thought I had pierced the inside of my ear and couldn't get over how painful she thought that would be. So she asked me why I had pierced my ear like that. Much to her embarrassment I pulled my hearing aid from behind my ear. I've never seen anyone blush that red. She completely missed me because she only saw my aids.
Add the dog in and well you can guess how it goes. I've found it's very hard to find motivation to be enthusiastic about an appearance that most people never notice. I don't think I'm alone in it. Think about it. We spend so much time on the unimportant distractions about a person that we often completely miss them.
So my question to you is how do we change that?
Body image is such a complicated topic but here's my two cents about it. I'm going to be brutally honest in this blog so be prepared. While my sister confessed that she's quite happy with how she looks my confession looks a little different.
Confession: I actually don't like how I look.
I'm short which I hate (seriously even Faith is taller than me!), I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds and inches, and I'm really just not a fan of me. I can list more things I don't like but I'll save us both the time. I've never really liked how I look. That's probably why I married Alex who is my biggest cheerleader. I don't have to like how I look because he does! I never spend more than five or ten minutes on my appearance. There's a great reason for that. Most people are way more distracted by the dog or by my moving hands or the giant hearing aids in my ears or how I sound funny when I talk sometimes. If you don't believe me here's a great story that proves my point.
One day at Disney I was off work and had taken some time with my looks. I thought I looked great. I went out shopping at D23. The woman behind the counter couldn't figure out how my hearing aid charms were connected to me. She thought I had pierced the inside of my ear and couldn't get over how painful she thought that would be. So she asked me why I had pierced my ear like that. Much to her embarrassment I pulled my hearing aid from behind my ear. I've never seen anyone blush that red. She completely missed me because she only saw my aids.
Add the dog in and well you can guess how it goes. I've found it's very hard to find motivation to be enthusiastic about an appearance that most people never notice. I don't think I'm alone in it. Think about it. We spend so much time on the unimportant distractions about a person that we often completely miss them.
So my question to you is how do we change that?
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Life with a service dog Part 1
This is my first post of a few I have in mind about life with a service dog. If you know me you know, have heard of or seen Riddick my service dog. If you don't know me then let me introduce him. Riddick is an approximately 16 months old black and white border collie lab mix rescue dog who rescued me. I get a lot of questions and I mean a lot of questions about what he does and why. So I wanted to take the time to address those questions.
First what does Riddick really do? Riddick is both a hearing dog and a seizure alert dog. That means he pulls double duty every day. His job is to alert me to things I can't hear, which is pretty much everything. He lets me know everything from a person wants my attention to car horns to beeping microwaves. He also is my seizure alert dog. He can sense a seizure up to 5 minutes before it happens. During a seizure he lays on my legs and I hold on to him.
He's even gone so far as to place his paws on either side of my head to prevent me from hitting my head during a seizure. He then proceeds to lick my face and nuzzle me till I wake up. He's also been trained to bark to alert others if I'm having a seizure. One of the most amazing things about Riddick is that he never really goes "off duty" at least not completely. He doesn't need a vest to know I need his help. My husband has seen him jump from tugging rope with him to rushing to my side during a seizure.
The next question I always get is why? Why have a service dog? Riddick helps me safely navigate the world. He makes being out and about much less stressful and much more safe. He's also a huge help at home. Something most people don't know is that home can be the hardest place to navigate. He's my furry best friend and a life saver. While there are times its not possible to bring him with me, like being in a car with someone whose allergic or bringing him in someone's home that's allergic happen I do try my best to always keep him with me. We're still growing and learning together but this is a partnership that will last a lifetime. To conclude Part 1 I want to share a photo I found that is both hilarious and very true to life.
First what does Riddick really do? Riddick is both a hearing dog and a seizure alert dog. That means he pulls double duty every day. His job is to alert me to things I can't hear, which is pretty much everything. He lets me know everything from a person wants my attention to car horns to beeping microwaves. He also is my seizure alert dog. He can sense a seizure up to 5 minutes before it happens. During a seizure he lays on my legs and I hold on to him.
He's even gone so far as to place his paws on either side of my head to prevent me from hitting my head during a seizure. He then proceeds to lick my face and nuzzle me till I wake up. He's also been trained to bark to alert others if I'm having a seizure. One of the most amazing things about Riddick is that he never really goes "off duty" at least not completely. He doesn't need a vest to know I need his help. My husband has seen him jump from tugging rope with him to rushing to my side during a seizure.
The next question I always get is why? Why have a service dog? Riddick helps me safely navigate the world. He makes being out and about much less stressful and much more safe. He's also a huge help at home. Something most people don't know is that home can be the hardest place to navigate. He's my furry best friend and a life saver. While there are times its not possible to bring him with me, like being in a car with someone whose allergic or bringing him in someone's home that's allergic happen I do try my best to always keep him with me. We're still growing and learning together but this is a partnership that will last a lifetime. To conclude Part 1 I want to share a photo I found that is both hilarious and very true to life.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Gender Inequality and Pants at Church
My sister Taylor brought up a fascinating discussion that I'd like to weigh in on. If you'd like to read her opinions and the articles that were the catalyst please read her blog. The discussion about gender inequality in our Church as well as the often contentious discussion of pants vs skirts is certainly compelling. I want to preface my opinions on this matter as first and foremost my opinions. I would assume that if you're reading my blog you're interested in my opinions on things so please remember that opinions are like mouths everyone has one. Second and equally important I was not raised in the Church therefore my opinions come from completely different life experiences.
I want to start with the idea of gender inequality in the Church. I have to say that while one Mormon feminist made several compelling points about why she feels there is serious gender inequality in the Church I couldn't disagree with her more. First the men in our Church treat women with such respect and caring it's amazing. Second I'm married to a Mormon and he treats me better than any other man has in my life. Part of why he does this is because of how he was raised. He has the great example of his Dad and how he treats Mom. He also has five amazing women who have made sure he knows how to treat a woman.
While perhaps there is some gender inequality somewhere in the Church I can't say that I've ever felt it from any of the brethren in the Church. If I've ever felt judged or placed on unequal footing it was from the sisters in the Church. This actually leads me to the second discussion point the topic of pants at Church. Many Mormons that I've met have pretty strong opinions on the topic. I know that many women in our Church feel that wearing dress pants to Church is disrespectful or less reverent than wearing a skirt.
I have to disagree on that point. Since I was old enough to decide if I was going to Church I've had a single condition: I can wear pants. While I respect that many women were raised to wear a skirt or dress on Sunday just because I wasn't is not a critique on my reverence or commitment to the Gospel. I genuinely feel that when we as women accept our differences and embrace the individual adaption portion of the Gospel we'll find that we feel so much more free. How can we be focused on helping others and coming closer to God if we're more concerned that the women two rows over is wearing a pants suit instead of a skirt? If we want to address gender inequality and other problems we encounter we have to be willing to look at our own behavior first. I can't pull a splinter out of your eye if there's still a log in mine.
Well that's my opinion and I'd love to hear other's opinions. I think this is an interesting and important discussion to have.
I want to start with the idea of gender inequality in the Church. I have to say that while one Mormon feminist made several compelling points about why she feels there is serious gender inequality in the Church I couldn't disagree with her more. First the men in our Church treat women with such respect and caring it's amazing. Second I'm married to a Mormon and he treats me better than any other man has in my life. Part of why he does this is because of how he was raised. He has the great example of his Dad and how he treats Mom. He also has five amazing women who have made sure he knows how to treat a woman.
While perhaps there is some gender inequality somewhere in the Church I can't say that I've ever felt it from any of the brethren in the Church. If I've ever felt judged or placed on unequal footing it was from the sisters in the Church. This actually leads me to the second discussion point the topic of pants at Church. Many Mormons that I've met have pretty strong opinions on the topic. I know that many women in our Church feel that wearing dress pants to Church is disrespectful or less reverent than wearing a skirt.
I have to disagree on that point. Since I was old enough to decide if I was going to Church I've had a single condition: I can wear pants. While I respect that many women were raised to wear a skirt or dress on Sunday just because I wasn't is not a critique on my reverence or commitment to the Gospel. I genuinely feel that when we as women accept our differences and embrace the individual adaption portion of the Gospel we'll find that we feel so much more free. How can we be focused on helping others and coming closer to God if we're more concerned that the women two rows over is wearing a pants suit instead of a skirt? If we want to address gender inequality and other problems we encounter we have to be willing to look at our own behavior first. I can't pull a splinter out of your eye if there's still a log in mine.
Well that's my opinion and I'd love to hear other's opinions. I think this is an interesting and important discussion to have.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Life's Detours
Part of having seizures is that I tend to sleep and be awake at odd hours. This habit of being awake at strange hours has lead to me reflecting on my life. I think that everyone has an idea or image in their mind of how they expected life to unfold. If you had asked me five years ago my vision of life would be nothing like the one I'm living.
I think one of the hardest things in life is letting go what you think life should be like. Embracing the fact that your life has taken a turn you didn't see coming can be quite the challenge. Since I'm currently facing that challenge I want to share some things I'm learning as I go. These are all things I'm trying to do in my own life with varying amounts of success but the important thing is that I'm trying.
1. My mountain is your mole hill but that's ok because my mole hill is your mountain.
Never underestimate another person's trials because often what seems easy to you can be an incredible challenge for another person.
2. Variety is the spice of life, learn to love it.
Life doesn't go according to anyone's plans and sometimes that's the best part. If my life had gone according to my plan a few years ago I wouldn't be a Mormon, married, or the person I am today.
3. Being sick stinks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
This is by far the hardest one for me personally. Having seizures stinks but life has to move on. Despite having seizures there is so much more to life than that.
4. Life moves on so move with it.
Often we get stuck in the problems in our life so much that we completely miss the great things about life. We see the tiny flaw in the painting and so completely miss the masterpiece in front of our eyes!
5. You are who you are, learn to love you for you.
I am me and that's all I can be. There are things about me I couldn't change if I wanted to so while it's a challenge I have to learn to love me as I am.
So those are my reflections on life's detours, I'm sure the list will continue to expand. My parting thought would be : that no matter where in life you find yourself enjoy the moment because it won't come again.
I think one of the hardest things in life is letting go what you think life should be like. Embracing the fact that your life has taken a turn you didn't see coming can be quite the challenge. Since I'm currently facing that challenge I want to share some things I'm learning as I go. These are all things I'm trying to do in my own life with varying amounts of success but the important thing is that I'm trying.
1. My mountain is your mole hill but that's ok because my mole hill is your mountain.
Never underestimate another person's trials because often what seems easy to you can be an incredible challenge for another person.
2. Variety is the spice of life, learn to love it.
Life doesn't go according to anyone's plans and sometimes that's the best part. If my life had gone according to my plan a few years ago I wouldn't be a Mormon, married, or the person I am today.
3. Being sick stinks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
This is by far the hardest one for me personally. Having seizures stinks but life has to move on. Despite having seizures there is so much more to life than that.
4. Life moves on so move with it.
Often we get stuck in the problems in our life so much that we completely miss the great things about life. We see the tiny flaw in the painting and so completely miss the masterpiece in front of our eyes!
5. You are who you are, learn to love you for you.
I am me and that's all I can be. There are things about me I couldn't change if I wanted to so while it's a challenge I have to learn to love me as I am.
So those are my reflections on life's detours, I'm sure the list will continue to expand. My parting thought would be : that no matter where in life you find yourself enjoy the moment because it won't come again.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Hubby Bragging
So I know that I don't do it often enough but I'm trying to tell my husband how wonderful he is more often. Since the things I'm trying to do usually end up in my blog posts this post shouldn't be a big surprise. Now I'm going to shamelessly brag about my husband and how wonderful he is.
My husband knows me better than almost anyone in the entire world. He's my best friend. He knows just how to make me smile when I'm feeling drained and exhausted. He always remembers (sometimes better than me!) what I am and am NOT supposed to be eating. In his own supportive way he discourages cheating on my diet since there are serious consequences with it. He patiently reads the labels and knows what to look for. He also is an amazing cook, seriously his food is delicious! He has a great gift of making food look good even when I'm sick and food is the last thing on my mind.
He always tells me that I'm beautiful even if I'm in my pjs and absolutely certain that I look how I feel (some days it's like death warmed over). He is always supportive of my weight and has been incredibly positive about it even when I'm not. He has an incredible knowledge of the scriptures and it's really helpful. We balance each other well. He knows things about the scriptures I don't, and I provide the fresh perspective to scriptures he's spent a lifetime with. He corrects my absolutely terrible grammar for school assignments!
He consistently tries to be a better man. He goes to the doctor with me and helps me manage my health problems. He's there to catch me( literally sometimes)! He's held my hand through a lot of tough moments and through the really great ones too. He's sexy. I do want to end with a slight reality check. While my husband is absolutely wonderful he is still a very imperfect man. He still leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor, hogs the covers, and kicks me in the middle of the night. He is not a perfect man but he is perfect for me!
My husband knows me better than almost anyone in the entire world. He's my best friend. He knows just how to make me smile when I'm feeling drained and exhausted. He always remembers (sometimes better than me!) what I am and am NOT supposed to be eating. In his own supportive way he discourages cheating on my diet since there are serious consequences with it. He patiently reads the labels and knows what to look for. He also is an amazing cook, seriously his food is delicious! He has a great gift of making food look good even when I'm sick and food is the last thing on my mind.
He always tells me that I'm beautiful even if I'm in my pjs and absolutely certain that I look how I feel (some days it's like death warmed over). He is always supportive of my weight and has been incredibly positive about it even when I'm not. He has an incredible knowledge of the scriptures and it's really helpful. We balance each other well. He knows things about the scriptures I don't, and I provide the fresh perspective to scriptures he's spent a lifetime with. He corrects my absolutely terrible grammar for school assignments!
He consistently tries to be a better man. He goes to the doctor with me and helps me manage my health problems. He's there to catch me( literally sometimes)! He's held my hand through a lot of tough moments and through the really great ones too. He's sexy. I do want to end with a slight reality check. While my husband is absolutely wonderful he is still a very imperfect man. He still leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor, hogs the covers, and kicks me in the middle of the night. He is not a perfect man but he is perfect for me!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Gratitude and life's challenges
Something I decided to do this month was list something every single day that I'm grateful for. Developing an attitude of gratitude is something that I'm trying very hard to do. I can't change many of the challenges in my life but I always have a say in how I deal with them. My attitude is one of the things I have full control of. I can choose to be angry, grouchy, and disappointed with where my life is at or I can choose to be grateful, happy, and hopeful.
Being hopeful doesn't mean that I'm ignoring all the problems in my life, far from it, it just means that I choose to have a better attitude. There are so many things that I have to be grateful for I don't want to just dwell on the negative. Dwelling on what isn't going right in my life or the problems I'm facing to the exclusion of the great things in my life seems stupid. Life is too short to be mad about the things I can't change. I'm starting to set new goals for myself and think of how I want to spend this time.
Since I'm not in school right now I want to use the time off that I have to my best advantage. I'm working on a list of books I want to read, things I want to study, things I want to do, and things I need to do. Just because life isn't taking the route I thought it would doesn't mean the one I'm on is any less amazing.
Being hopeful doesn't mean that I'm ignoring all the problems in my life, far from it, it just means that I choose to have a better attitude. There are so many things that I have to be grateful for I don't want to just dwell on the negative. Dwelling on what isn't going right in my life or the problems I'm facing to the exclusion of the great things in my life seems stupid. Life is too short to be mad about the things I can't change. I'm starting to set new goals for myself and think of how I want to spend this time.
Since I'm not in school right now I want to use the time off that I have to my best advantage. I'm working on a list of books I want to read, things I want to study, things I want to do, and things I need to do. Just because life isn't taking the route I thought it would doesn't mean the one I'm on is any less amazing.
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